Extraordinary
by Jessa4865
Summary: A peek at what life could be like following Jack's retirement. JackSam COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Extraordinary  
Jezyk  
Spoilers: Nothing in particular  
Disclaimer: Just having them out for a bit of angst & emotional torture. No one will be physically harmed and no money will be made. Shocker.  
AN: This isn't going to be one of my usual happy, amusing stories. It's not something I want to see, either, but it got stuck in my head and kept me up very late and made me exceptionally late for work last week, so I have to give it a whirl. Let me know if you like it at all!

Sam/Jack, and uh… (gulp) Sam/Daniel

Chapter One

Jack O'Neill's life has been anything but normal, absolutely extraordinary by most accounts. For over thirty years, he served in the Air Force, partaking in and eventually leading the most dangerous missions anyone could fathom and, if he allows himself to ruminate on his years at Stargate Command which he doesn't often allow, plenty of harrowing ordeals that no one could fathom. He's known happiness and fear and joy and loss and excitement and love. So, at nearly seventy, he's mostly content to putter around his house and drink beer and wonder why he chose to stay in Washington instead of heading to Minnesota the way he'd always planned.

It's the people, he knows. For as much as he always wanted to get away from it all, he never wanted to be alone. At least in the city, he feels like he's a part of something. Maybe not a family, but something. He doesn't like to be alone because whenever he has time to think, his thoughts invariably turn to her and how, deep down, he'd always expected her to be with him in Minnesota, and thinking of her just makes him feel lonelier.

Retirement - spending his days with nowhere to go and nothing to do - lasted for all of a week. He'd been bored silly and couldn't imagine how he could make it another seven days. He started filling his days with activity. He joined clubs, took classes, became a member of any association that would have him, even volunteered if he couldn't find anything more entertaining. It wasn't the same as being with his team, but the activity kept him too busy to feel alone.

And somehow, time slipped by. He'd been retired for seventeen years.

On this particular day, he was on his way to a lecture at the Air and Space Museum. The lecture was part of a series a friend had recommended. Jack still loved to look at the stars, even tough the lights from the city made it too bright to see them from his house.

Sometimes he likes to pretend he doesn't know as much as he does about the galaxy. So his eyes only glance at the brochure in his hand for the afternoon. Something about distances between the constellations. He smiles, allowing himself a memory of how very close the stars could be - just one short step through a magic ring. His eyes scan the page, realizing the topic is going to be a bit more technical than he preferred.

He catches the lecturer's name: Dr. Jackson. A happy coincidence; the Dr. Jackson he knew didn't really know anything about astronomy. Jack smiles at that, fondness for his old friend filling him. He hadn't seen Daniel in years. He missed him. Not enough to break the silence though; no, because Daniel would mention _her_ and that wouldn't be good.

Jack takes a seat in the rear of the auditorium, just in case he wants to leave. The room is crowded and he's glad he's there early enough that he doesn't have to sit next to anyone. He likes to have people around; he likes to know they're there. But that doesn't mean he wants to engage most of them. He glances at the program again, idly wondering why it's so popular. He'd been to their lectures before and he usually ended up feeling bad when the speaker wound up addressing a handful of retirees and occasionally someone who got lost looking for the souvenir shop. This Dr. Jackson was apparently world-renowned for contributions to something or other. Jack closes the booklet in frustration and eyes the door. The room is settling down and he wonders if he can get out before it starts.

Jack has always listened to his gut. His instincts saved his life more times that he could count. But he didn't rely on his gut for much anymore besides whether or not to take an umbrella with him when he left the house, and those statistics were decidedly bad. His instincts are rusty, which is the reason he ignores them when they tell him to bolt for the door and never look back.

The lights dim a moment later and he chuckles to himself. It he'd listened to his guts, he'd be tripping down the stairs in the dark. He folds his hands in his lap and swears off the idea of ever relying on his instincts again. He's got no need for them anymore.

"Good afternoon."

That's all he needs to hear. His blood runs cold. His heart skips a beat, distracting him for several seconds while he tries to assess if he's actually having a heart attack. He fumbles in his pocket for his glasses, then flips the program open again. He can't read much in the dark, but he tries anyway. He scans the paragraph about the speaker, wondering how he could have made a mistake. But the words remain the same - it's Dr. Jackson. Jack looks at the front of the room again, watching as several people adjust the microphone. He wasn't looking, so he can't really be sure which one of them had spoken, and his eyes aren't that good anyway.

After a moment, the helpers back off. The woman approaches the pedestal again. "Good afternoon. I'm Dr. Samantha Jackson."

He squeezes his eyes closed and decides he's not having a heart attack. He's just hallucinating. Nonetheless, he pats his pockets and wonders if he shouldn't take some aspirin anyway.

Her voice is so familiar and soothing, as it always was, that he's actually lulled out of his panic on only a few seconds. He doesn't listen to a word she says; he just listens to her voice. Her voice had always been comforting to him and, despite his shock, he wants to stay. He wants to see her, even though it hurts.

He's comforted by the simple fact that she's still alive. She was still active duty military when he last saw her and he'd feared for years that something would happen to her. The darkness of the room, allows him the anonymity to stare at her. She still looks amazing. Her hair is blonde, although he's sure, in her fifties, that chemicals have something to do with that. Her face is still stunning, apparently untouched by all the years that have passed. He smiles, thinking that even Mother Nature didn't dare touch her. Her frame is still slender and her voice as self-assured as ever. She's extraordinary. Jack smiles. He still loves her and he's filled with a warmth he hasn't felt in years.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: I should probably let you know, there's no real Sam/Daniel stuff in here... It's very much a Sam/Jack story... just not necessarily a happy one. :)_

Chapter Two

An hour into her lecture, the back door slowly creeks open. The light that creeps in from the hallway hurts his eyes. Annoyed that anyone is distracting his from watching her, Jack turns his head slightly to the side. He wants to give the intruder a glare for interrupting his pathetic time with the love of his life.

But he recognizes the sloppy attire and slightly awkward movements of the older man who walks in. Jack knows him instantly and turns away, filled with a sudden loathing. He doesn't want to talk to him.

When he turns back, she's looking directly at him. She's smiling. He almost smiles back, until he realizes that she doesn't even see him. She's smiling at Daniel, who has chosen a seat in the row behind him. Jack sees Daniel's hand come up in a greeting. She nods at him, her wide smile precluding her words for a moment.

Jack wants to sink through the floor. As it is, he's so low in his chair that it'll probably take him an hour to get up, but it's not enough. Daniel's instincts were always as keen as Jack's; Jack knows there's very little that could prevent the inevitable moment when Daniel notices what Carter did not. Daniel will know him and, unlike Carter, who would either not recognize him or respect his silence by not confronting him, Daniel will address him. And really, Jack doesn't want to hurt Daniel by ignoring him. Daniel had nothing to do with it. It wasn't his fault that things got so messed up.

For all the miserable hours of his life he wasted listening to things he didn't care about spoken by people who didn't care about, this is the one lecture that ends too quickly. He knows he would have been happy to sit there, crouched down in an uncomfortable seat, listening to the sound of her voice forever. The lights come up too soon and Jack has a few extra minutes to think as the applause continues longer than Carter is comfortable with. She makes her way around the podium and wades into the crowd, never making it more than a step before someone asks her a question.

It's pride that makes Jack smile as he looks down at her. He remembers the twenty-something Captain who was so obviously looking for approval from him. He remembers the years they spent as teammates when she slowly transformed into an authority on everything she touched. He remembers knowing, in the end, that he was the one who needed her. She's just fine without him. He's proud of her, of how far she's come. He's proud that he could ever call her a friend.

Fate smiles on Jack. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Daniel start down the stairs. He's wading through the crowd, trying to get to her side. Jack laughs quietly, the irony appealing to him. He'd spent years himself wading through the crowd, trying to get to her side. It was just his luck that Daniel had succeeded where he had failed.

Jack can't risk waiting any longer. The crowd is thinning and he doesn't want them to see him. With Daniel down front, Jack decides to skip out the back door. He takes a last look at her, at her brilliant smile when Daniel finally reaches her. The last image he sees is Daniel leaning forward to peck her on the lips. On that nauseating note, Jack turns around and makes his way to the door as quickly as his stiff legs will carry him.

The auditorium is painfully quiet when he gets to the door. Jack can hear only a few people still commenting on the lecture. His hand closes over the handle, thanking his lucky stars that he's escaped. There's no way for them to recognize him from the back, that far away, after so many years. He lets out a breath.

But the knob won't turn. He tries it repeatedly, telling himself that Daniel came through this very door only a little while again. He reasons with the door, explaining in a harsh whisper that it would make more sense for the door to be locked from the outside, not the inside. The door doesn't care and stubbornly remains locked.

With a muttered curse and a new respect for his gut, Jack reluctantly turns back and begins carefully picking his way down the stairs. There are two men left besides Daniel and Carter. They appear to be quite interested in something, so Jack is hoping that he can creep right past them. He just wants to get out of there. He's having trouble breathing again and he knows it's because she's so close to him. Maybe five feet. He doesn't know if he can bear the pain.

"Jack?" Daniel's voice is soft, unsure, curious.

But that one word stops Carter in the middle of a sentence. Jack can feel her eyes fall on him and he's sorry he didn't leave earlier. He's embarrassed. He's scared. She says nothing.

"Jack? Is that you?" Daniel sounds so amazed tat Jack can't walk away.

There's nowhere to go. He looks at them, momentarily wondering if he can pull off pretending he didn't know it was them. But he can't. Daniel's eyes are sparkling. Jack can't deny his friend. "Daniel?"

Daniel approaches him, not even noticing as the last two devotees take their leave. He's grinning as he pulls Jack into a hug. "Where the hell have you been, Jack? You just disappeared."

Jack pats Daniel on the back, wondering if Daniel is truly unaware of what happened. Jack is sure Daniel knows. He must. He married her. But then, Daniel has always been more naive than is sensible. That's part of the reason why everyone loves him and most of the reason Jack can even look at him knowing that he married Carter. His eyes lift slightly, over Daniel's shoulder, meeting Carter's wide-eyed stare. "It's good to see you, Daniel." When Daniel steps back, he nods at Carter. "Carter." He remembers the pamphlet that's still in his hand, folded and torn from the anxiety he took out on it. "Or is it Jackson now?"

She looks sick. She can't even fake it. Jack feels bad. He hates what happened. One look in her eyes and he can't stop the memories from flooding back.

_ He was so excited the day he retired. He'd flown back to Colorado Springs immediately. He hadn't even gone home to change or pack a bag. She'd been shocked to find him at her doorstep, but pleased to hear his news. In one unbelievable moment, she'd thrown her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He'd been so happy he'd laughed, even as he held her tight. It was finally there - they had their chance. _

_ He'd taken her to dinner, but she'd insisted on calling him 'sir.' He tried to get her to stop; she laughed it away and said it would just take time. She told him it was like him calling her Carter, that he'd eventually call her Sam. He argued that it was her name, and to him, that it was a term of endearment. She said the same was true of sir for her, that she used it with affection when she addressed him. But it bothered him, more than he cared to admit. It made him feel old, undeserving of her. He noticed that something didn't seem quite right after that; her laughter seemed forced. She seemed to be faking her good mood. He tried to brush it off, to pretend that it was just nerves. It was their first real date, after all; they were bound to be nervous. _

_ He'd taken her home and she'd invited him in. He'd made love to her, powerless to resist the desire after having waited so long. But it continued to nag at him then. She didn't call him 'sir,' but she didn't call him Jack either. He tried to make it ok, tried to show her how much he loved her, but he was pretty sure she'd faked that too. She fell asleep in his arms, a wide smile still on her face. He was sure it wasn't real. Something about it made him feel wrong, dirty. He couldn't face her again. _

_ So he'd grabbed his clothes and took off while she was sleeping. He'd thought about trying to talk to her, trying to apologize, but he couldn't explain it. He couldn't ever explain why he'd finally been allowed to have what he'd wanted, but he was too scared to take it. He was so afraid of wrecking it that he'd wrecked it anyway. He'd had a million chances too. _

_ She'd called him everyday, sometimes more than once. But after a year or so, she stopped trying. And he never came up with a way to make it up to her. _

Apparently, she'd gotten over him, just as Jack knew she would.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: This isn't the end, but I promise it's coming shortly. All will be cleared up. Sort of. Please R&R!_

Chapter Three

He would have thought, after all those years, that it would be gone. He would have expected the memories to have faded enough that he would recall her only with pleasant associations. Instead, he's shocked to learn that upon seeing her face, for the first time since he crept out of her house after making love to her, the pain is as real and as sharp as if he'd been stabbed. He can't even be mad at her because he did it to himself.

Daniel's still grinning and he breaks the silence, seemingly unaware of the foul mood of his companions. "I imagine she'll always be Carter to you, Jack."

Jack smiles weakly, certain his face looks much like Carter's still stricken face. She looks upset. "So it was a good lecture. Nice seeing you guys again." Jack has never been much for uncomfortable small talk; he's always much preferred simply walking away. He takes a step toward the door, wondering if his arthritic joints will cooperate just long enough for him to run out of sight.

Daniel laughs. "Oh, come on, Jack. You never understood her lectures. Hell, I never understood her lectures."

Jack looks back, wanting to be insulted. But he can't. Because he spent ten years thoroughly convincing everyone that he was an idiot. Almost everyone, at least.

Just like old times, Carter jumps to his defense. "You'd be surprised, Daniel. He's smarter than he acts."

"I'm not so sure about that." Daniel looks at his wife and Jack knows neither of them is talking about the lecture anymore.

"Keep in touch, Danny." He turns for the door again, knowing full well Daniel doesn't have his number.

"You can't leave! We have to get some dinner, hang out for a while." The excitement in Daniel's voice makes him sound much younger than his sixty years.

Jack knows better than to argue. Daniel is probably still quite skilled at getting other people wrapped up in his enthusiasm. Jack smiles at his friend and lies through his teeth. "Yeah, I'll give you a call next week."

"Great!"

Daniel's smile is so real that Jack feels a twinge of guilt, but he says nothing, makes no attempt to get their phone number. Carter has turned away and is packing papers from her presentation into her briefcase. Jack realizes that Carter has yet to actually say a word to him, but he can't blame her since he's barely addressed her either. But that's ok as long as Daniel's around. He's perfectly able to talk enough for three people.

Daniel's face falls before Jack can leave. "I just remembered, we're going to visit a dig in Crete. We're leaving first thing tomorrow and we'll be gone for several weeks."

She's not looking at him, but Jack catches the way Sam rolls her eyes. She doesn't want to go anymore than Jack wants to have dinner with them. He finds himself gloating. He thinks she should have thought of that before she married him.

Jack shrugs. "We'll make plans when you get back."

Daniel looks crestfallen and Jack wonders why. Daniel, unknowingly or not, has chosen a side. And he hadn't exactly tried to contact Jack more than a handful of times before Jack changed his number. Daniel's face lights up again. "You can come over tonight for dinner. It'll be great!"

Jack stares, dumbfounded. He has to say something, but it takes him a long time to come up with something besides 'take a damn hint.' He grimaces as he forces out words. "I don't want to intrude. You probably have to pack or something."

"No, no, that's all done."

Jack thinks wryly that of course it's all done. This is Carter and Daniel here. No way they'd leave packing until the night before. But he can't bring himself to tease them. He's just not in the mood. So he says nothing.

"It's fine, Jack. Come on, we're all set."

It occurs to Jack finally that Daniel isn't clueless. He just knows that Jack has no intention of calling and he's not about to give up. Jack sighs quietly. He doesn't know what to do. His gut is suspiciously silent.

Daniel takes the silence as acceptance and smiles at Carter. "So, great, ok, do you need a ride or-"

"I'll follow you." There's no chance in hell Jack is going to allow himself to be at their mercy. At least with his car, he can always run away.

Jack assumes he's supposed to wait for them since he has no idea what type of car they have, so he leans on the wall by the door while Daniel helps Carter get the rest of her stuff together. He picks up snippets of conversation that he's obviously not supposed to hear. He wonders if he can sneak out or if Daniel will actually chase him all the way home.

He feels like the third wheel, which is a painfully accurate description of the situation, made even more so by the fight that Carter and Daniel are having under their breaths. He's horrified, but his ears strain to hear more nonetheless.

"Daniel, he doesn't want to come over. Just let him go home." Carter is taking way too much time shifting her folders around, a move designed to buy her more time.

"It's too late now."

"Just tell him there's something you forgot you have to do." Carter glares at Daniel. "Or I will."

Daniel smiles. "That would involve actually saying something to him, wouldn't it?"

"Why don't you give him your number and you can hang out sometime when I'm not around." Carter shuffles more papers around before shooting a fleeting glance at Jack. He feels a familiar sensation ripple through him. Suddenly recalling their years of working together, Jack realizes what she's doing. She's not stalling to argue with Daniel privately. She's giving Jack a chance to slip out. It's exactly what Jack wants - Daniel is too distracted by the discussion to give chase.

But his feet feel like lead when he hears Daniel's answer.

"I want him to meet Carter."

Jack watches as Carter throws her papers, which she's spent twenty minutes organizing, into her briefcase. Jack has no desire whatsoever to meet their kid, but his legs won't respond to his commands. Maybe it's because they still seem like the old Carter and Daniel, not like a married couple. Maybe it's because she can't possibly ignore him through an entire meal, certainly not if he's interacting with her child. Maybe because seeing them together, in their house, with their child, will finally make him relinquish any nonsense in his heart about still having feelings for her.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: Ok, since I've had to make yet another tweak, resulting in 5 parts total (that's it, I swear!), I'm being nice and giving you a nice long chapter. Enjoy!_

Chapter Four

The unhappy, unwilling group is silent as they make their way to the parking lot. Daniel and Carter actually came separately, explaining Daniel's late arrival to the lecture, so Jack feels even dumber joining the line of three cars like they're some kind of parade. If nothing else, they represent an excellent lesson for people to learn - Jack's learned the hard way that it is possible to wait too long, to push people too far, to deny something too vehemently. He's tempted, very tempted, as they merge onto the interstate, to change lanes and head in the other direction, to go home instead. But his legs are as uncooperative driving as they were when he was standing by the door. His legs, apparently, are quite curious to meet Carter, to see the child of the two people he once considered his closest friends. His heart knows it will break, once and for all, but his legs have already decided.

He tries to tell himself that it's good for Daniel and Carter - he winces when he realizes he needs to think of her as anything but Carter now - to have kids. He figures it's good for humanity to have them in the gene pool. But no matter how much he knows he never would have begrudged his friends having children, he has to admit he never envisioned them having children together.

It only takes a few minutes for the caravan to arrive in Old Town. Jack tries not to be annoyed at the perfectly average, above average technically considering the size and the neighborhood, townhouse, the perfectly manicured lawn, the perfect landscaping, the perfect mailbox with " Jackson" painted on the side in perfect white letters. Carter - so much for the name thing - and Daniel pull into the garage. As Jack pulls into the driveway behind them, he finds himself hoping his car has an oil leak or something, just to leave a mark in their perfectly perfect world. Anything to remind them that they aren't as perfect as they'd like to believe.

Daniel's practically skipping as he comes out of the garage to lead Jack to the front door. Jack watches him, trying to decide if he should follow or if he should steal Carter's suggestion and claim there is something extremely important that he has to do right away. He watches Carter trudge into the house through the garage, flipping the switch to close the garage door behind her. Daniel isn't perturbed by his wife's blatant lack of welcome to their visitor.

Jack is truly torn. Daniel has always been his friend and still appears to be, despite Jack's less than respectable behavior towards his wife. Jack has always loved Carter and tried to follow her wishes, which are clearly indicating that he shouldn't be there. Jack is stuck between the two of them. Daniel wants him to stay. Carter wants him to go. He's unsure where his loyalty ought to lie.

Eventually he gives in, deciding that Carter is hardly putting up enough of a fight to outweigh Daniel's sincere desire for Jack to stay. He follows Daniel mutely into the house, straight into the kitchen, unhappily realizing when he smells something delectable, that he's starving and won't be able to pretend he doesn't want dinner.

Jack wants to laugh when he sees a woman, who's most definitely not Carter, in the midst of preparing a meal. He never pegged either of his friends for the type to have a housekeeper.

Daniel grins. "Jack, you remember-"

The woman turns at Daniel's words, launching herself at Jack before Jack can even recognize her. But her delighted squeal at seeing him sounds the same as it had twenty years earlier when he had last seen her.

Jack smiles, an absolutely heartfelt smile, as he hugs her. "You certainly grew up, Cass."

She pulls back far enough to meet his eyes. "That happens when you disappear for twenty years, Jack."

Jack is shocked, still smiling vaguely at Cassandra, trying to reconcile the thirty-seven year old before him with the teenage girl he remembers. Cassie returns to the stove, throwing a smile to Daniel over her shoulder.

"I figured you guys wouldn't feel like cooking tonight." She nods toward Jack. "I guess it's a good thing I came a day early or poor Jack would have had to make due with whatever soup you could find."

Carter walks into the kitchen, passes Jack without a glance, and hugs Cassie. "Poor Jack can take care of himself. Have you seen Carter?"

Cassie glances between Carter and Jack, noticing the tension. She'd been so young when she'd last seen the two of them together that she hadn't fully understood. All those years had taught her a lot, but it also made her curious to see them interact. She shakes her head. "No, he wasn't here when I got here. But he's probably not expecting me until tomorrow anyway."

Daniel is setting the table and he hesitates with a fifth plate in his hands. "Sam, is Carter supposed to be here for dinner?"

"He's still grounded. Not that it seems to make much difference."

Daniel mumbles something under his breath that Jack doesn't catch and finishes the fifth place at the table. "Cassie, are you about ready?"

Thirty minutes later, Jack is staring uncomfortably at his food. He's hungry and the food smells great, but he's never been so miserable in his life and he's too busy trying to disappear to actually eat. Daniel and Cassie have chattered away, giving Jack updates on everything they can think of. Cassie tried about ten different careers before she settled on art. She's been successful and is well-known in the art community for her visionary work. Everyone who knows her and the truth about where she's from knows where she gets her inspiration, but the art world is continually amazed by her unearthly landscapes. Daniel's been a professor at George Washington for over ten years and he jokes about torturing his students with wild tales about artifacts and revels in it when they get the same glazed over looks that Jack used to get.

Jack finds it comforting, if only slightly, that Cassie doesn't live with them, but is only staying in the house with Carter while they're away.

Jack finds it discomforting that she has to stay there as a condition of Carter's probation since he's not allowed to stay unsupervised. The last thing Jack ever expected Daniel and Carter's combined genes to produce was a juvenile delinquent.

The boy hasn't actually shown up yet and Jack is extremely curious to find out about him. But he can't ask. He'd been expecting a small child, something cute and cuddly, much like he suspected Carter and Daniel to have been like as children.

Jack watches Carter - Sam - as she stares at the empty plate next to her. She keeps glancing at her watch and occasionally at the doorway. Jack gets the feeling from both Daniel and Cassie's disinterest in the subject that young Carter does this sort of thing often. Sam, on the other hand, is growing more and more distraught by the second as only a mother can.

Daniel, who has been trying unsuccessfully to drag Carter unwillingly into some sort of conversation, drops his fork on his plate and sighs. "I'm not covering for him again, Sam. If the police show up, I'm telling them to arrest him."

Carter looks up, fear shining in her eyes. "No! You can't do that. They'll send him to that horrid detention center again!"

Daniel, in an uncharacteristically angry voice, responds in such a way that Jack once again wonders if Daniel's talking about something besides their son. "He needs to be taught a lesson before someone gets hurt."

Jack watches in horror as tears well up in Carter's eyes. Even though he knows it's not his place, he wants to run to her, to pull her into his arms, to promise her that everything will be fine. But before the argument goes any further, they all hear the sounds of someone coming in the front door. Sam is on her feet, pulling him into a one-sided hug before the boy even gets into the dining room.

"Carter, I was so worried about you!" Her voice is tearful and Jack's heart twists in his chest.

Carter pushes past his mother, dropping down into a chair and scooping food onto his plate, without responding. Of course, Jack can only assume he didn't hear his mother due to the earphones blasting so loud that Jack can hear the music from across the table. He's not anything like Jack expected. He's taller than both of his parents. Although he has the same sloppy over-sized style of clothing his father always preferred, Jack can tell the boy is considerably scrawnier than Daniel. He does have that same mass of thick, untamed brown hair that Daniel sported for several years.

Daniel reaches over and snags the keys Carter dropped on the table.

Although Jack would expect the boy's father to know how to press his buttons, Jack is surprised that Daniel is actually willing to do so. He never seemed the type to deliberately upset anyone. Carter looks up immediately, removing the earphones as Daniel planned, although he doesn't turn them off. "What's with that, dad?"

"I'm taking the car."

Carter stuffs a heaping forkful of macaroni in his mouth, not caring how rude it is to talk with his mouth full. "Taking it where?"

"I'll give it to the police and have them give it back to whoever you stole it from."

"Daniel!" Sam looks horrified, but Jack's more surprised to hear her voice, sharp and loud, for the first time in twenty years. "He said he didn't steal the car."

Daniel glares between his wife and son. "Then where did he get the money?"

Jack is amazed when Sam looks down, unable to answer. He doesn't know if that's an admission that she knows the boy stole the car or an admission that she gave him the money, but Jack can't comprehend that she has such a weakness, not even if it's her own son. Sam turns and walks away. Jack expects someone to follow her.

Daniel's voice sounds again as soon as she's out of earshot. "Carter, your mother and I are leaving in the morning. You should have been home."

"Whatever, dad." He tries to put his earphones back in, but Daniel interrupts.

"We have guests, Carter, don't be rude." Daniel sounds like an irritated father and Jack finds it creepier than he'd like to admit. He wishes he could just get up and leave; he's not convinced anyone would notice.

"Cass doesn't care. And I don't really care about impressing your boring professor friend here."

Cassie, who was pretending not to be there the same as Jack, glares. Daniel glares.

Jack can't help but laugh. "I've never been mistaken for a professor before."

Daniel continues, insisting on introducing his son to Jack, apparently unable to realize how embarrassing the situation should be for him. "Carter, this is Jack."

Carter's fork drops right out of his hand. A second later, Carter's face turns up to look at Jack for the first time.

The first thing that Jack sees is a pair of brown eyes that biology couldn't possibly attribute to Daniel or Sam.

Jack's fork drops right out of his hand. Suddenly, he wishes he'd taken that aspirin when he'd thought of it earlier. Because he knows that he might well have a heart attack staring into the shocked eyes of his son. It's like he's looking at himself at sixteen.

Carter recovers first, but not fully. His adolescent angst is gone, replaced by such fear that he looks childlike. "Mom!" He doesn't even give her a chance to respond. "Mom!"

Sam responds to her son's cries instantly, exactly as Jack knew she would. She folds the now willing boy into her arms. Although he's taller than she is, he suddenly seems tiny as he clings to his mother.

Jack is too stunned to move. He can't think. Except for one painfully cruel thought his mind feels compelled to shove at him. _No wonder she tried so hard to reach you._

"Carter, wait!"

He doesn't listen to her, grabbing the keys away from Daniel's side before anyone even realizes he's moving.

"Carter, don't you dare walk out of this house!" Daniel's loud, angry voice shakes Jack to the core. Daniel should have known what would happen. Daniel should have warned someone.

Sam stays where she is in the doorway, blocking Carter's path. "Don't go, please."

"Move!"

Jack winces, recognizing the harsh tone in Carter's voice that is so much like his own. He can't imagine what she must have gone through, raising a child that was so obviously his. He stops caring about the aspirin. He'd welcome a heart attack. He wants to die for what he's done.

"Carter, please, don't leave."

"Why didn't you tell me Jack was coming?"

Jack hears the words, but his shock delays the processing. He still can't quite believe that he has a son, but his son seems to know him. Jack's eyes turn accusingly on Daniel, finally understanding. Jack is the only one there who had no idea of Carter's paternity.

Cassie's hand falls softly on Jack's skin. "You didn't know?"

Jack feels tears building in his eyes. He can't talk past the lump. He just shakes his head and the tears spill down his cheeks. Whatever wrong he did to her by running away, she's paid him back a hundred fold by never telling him about his son.

"I need some air, mom." Carter ducks under where Sam's arm is stretched across the doorway.

She doesn't try to stop him. She doesn't even move. "I love you, Carter." Carter doesn't answer.

Jack hates that his son can't say it either. Because he remembers all too clearly when she'd said it to him. He never believed that it was true, but he knows now that it was. And he remembers all too clearly that he'd ignored her - the same way Carter had.

He looks up at her, searching for her eyes to center him. He's overwhelmed with emotion. He doesn't know what he feels, besides every feeling he's ever had. He needs to see her, to hold her eyes, to reaffirm that unspoken bond that they'd once had.

But her head is hanging down and all he sees is her arm, still positioned across the open space to prevent the escape of someone who is already gone. He sees the way her sleeve has pulled back from her wrist in protest of the stretch. He sees the angry red scar that starts at the base of her hand and disappears several inches later under the sleeve. It's too neat, too precise to be a battle scar.

And he knows, of all the things that he regrets, that is the biggest of all - seeing, albeit seventeen years too late, what his unexplained departure had reduced her to.

She remembers a moment too late about her scar and Jack sees the carefully practiced way she drops her arm and shakes her sleeve back in place. She disappears down the hall, the telltale sounds of her feet on the stairs and a door closing revealing where she's gone.

Cassie stands up a moment later. "I'm going to check on Sam." And then she's gone too.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Here it is... The end... I hope you enjoy it, even though some of you are gunning for more._

Chapter Five

It's a long time before Jack turns to Daniel, only to find the younger man already staring at him. "Why? Why did you do this?" Daniel's insistence on having Jack over seems less innocent the more Jack thinks of it. He knows the emotional fallout of this meal will stir up more pain that he thinks any of them really deserve, possibly more that any of them can withstand. Daniel must have known that as well. Jack couldn't understand why Daniel of all people would put all of them through this.

Daniel looks down at his forgotten dinner plate. His voice is soft and controlled, but it's still laced with emotion. "Because you deserved to know." He sighs. "And you wouldn't have listened otherwise."

Jack doesn't want to acknowledge any truth in Daniel's words, but he can't deny them. Sam and Daniel both tried to contact him. And he hadn't listened. "You could have tried harder." He thinks of his son, an obviously troubled kid, who had no warning who would be at dinner. "That wasn't fair to do to him."

Daniel laughs ruefully. "Carter's known you were his father since the day he was born. He'll be fine."

"You shouldn't have brought me here, Daniel." Even knowing there was something alive to prove that he and Sam had once found each other wasn't enough to comfort him. It hurt too much. He couldn't imagine why his friend, at least someone he had always thought was his friend, would want to hurt him that much.

"Why did you leave her, Jack?" Daniel's voice is laced with such pain that Jack knows without question that Daniel truly loves her. And Jack's sure that she loves Daniel too. Despite the circumstances, they've made a life for themselves, for their family. They deserve that much, that small measure of happiness in life.

"Because I knew she'd never be happy with me." There's more truth in his words than he expected and he feels the knife in his heart twist a little deeper. They could blame it all on him, but he was the one who really lost out in the end. Daniel is living the life that Jack wanted.

"She loved you so much, Jack. You were the whole world to her. Didn't you know that? Everyone else did. How could you have ever thought she would be happy without you?" Daniel's words sound like a question, like he's really curious, but Jack knows better. He hears the accusation before Daniel says it. "Unless you never really loved her at all."

Jack's blood boils and he feels a rage he never has before. "I loved her, damn you, more than you know. I will love her until the day I die." If only he'd ever been able to voice those same words to Sam, what a difference it might have made.

Daniel shakes his head like he doesn't believe the words, but he won't look up to meet Jack's eyes. "No. If you loved her even a little bit you never would have left like that. Not when she needed you so badly."

Jack stands up, angry and distraught and hurt and embarrassed that he'd abandoned the woman he loved and their son. "Maybe you don't know her as well as you think. She's stronger than any of us. She doesn't need anybody."

Daniel looked up, his cold stare piercing right through Jack. "No, Jack, you're the one who didn't know her. She wasn't stronger than any of us. She just pretended to be because she thought that was what you wanted."

A wave a nausea rolls over Jack as he remembers the scar on her wrist. He drops back down into his chair because he's too weak to go anywhere. "When did she do it?" He doesn't know why he asks. He doesn't really want to know.

"She took a bottle of sleeping pills the day she found out she was pregnant." Daniel's hard stare turns soft as water fills his eyes. She left me a note that said she just couldn't face it without you and she didn't think a baby shouldn't have to come into the world alone." Daniel's face contorts as he tries to force words around the tears. "She was so angry when she woke up in the hospital. She swore she'd never forgive me for saving her." Daniel shrugs. "I thought she forgave me after a while. But then Carter was born and he looked just like you from day one and she couldn't handle it. She snuck out of the hospital that night and cut her wrists."

Jack waits in the silence for the rest, knowing that it's as hard on Daniel to tell it as it is for him to hear it.

"Teal'c found her that time, thank God." Daniel smiles, an odd expression with his face wet with tears. "I've never seen Teal'c as angry as he was that night. He couldn't understand it. He said she had no business involving herself in people's lives if she was going to disrespect them by doing what she did. He hasn't said a single word to her since. He won't even stand in the same room as her."

Jack feels only more pain as he realizes the extent of the domino chain that he started. If only he could have answered those calls she made to him, calls he now knows were desperate. If only he'd realized that she had needed him, so much more than he'd ever believed. If only he'd stayed in her arms that night, the way he'd desperately wanted. If only he could have trusted in her smiles, the smiles he hadn't believed she meant.

"I wish I could change it, Daniel. I'd take it all back in a second." He's never felt such regret as he does at this moment. He can barely breathe under the weight of his mistakes.

"I love her, Jack. I always have." Daniel looks down and Jack knows he's scared to admit it, even knowing that he won her. "But it's not right, Jack. She doesn't love me, not like that."

Jack snorts, finding humor in Daniel's statement. "She wouldn't have married you if she didn't." He's sure the reason she decided to live after all was because of Daniel, because of the man she would marry, because she loves him.

"It was loyalty, Jack. That's all. I didn't leave her. I took care of her son when she was too depressed to get out of bed. She got so upset every time she looked at Carter. It went on for years, Jack. I'm sure that's why he's as messed up as he is." Daniel shrugs. "I think Sam was afraid I'd leave her too, that maybe by marrying me she could keep me from abandoning her."

"Looks like it worked." Jack forces a smile, hiding how much more pain Daniel's words cause. He doesn't want to think that his betrayal caused her to marry Daniel out of a desperate fear that she would be alone. But at the same time, he could see her coming up with marriage as the best solution to her problem - the problem of not wanting to lose all her friends.

Daniel stands up and crosses the room. Jack watches as he goes into the living room, pulls a book from the shelf, and then returns. When he lays the book on the table, it opens to a page in the middle, revealing a small piece of paper wedged inside. Daniel nods at it. Jack unfolds it and stares curiously at an address, the only thing on the paper.

"What is this?"

Daniel shrugs. "It's whatever you want it to be."

Jack says nothing as Daniel walks away, hearing his friend's footfalls following Sam's earlier steps. He stays there for a while longer, trying to figure out what the hell he's supposed to do. Giving up on any further explanation, he tucks the slip of paper into his pocket as he leaves the house.

Backing onto the street, he glances up at one of the windows. He sees her face there, beautiful and haunted, staring intently down. But he knows she's not looking for him. She looking for their son, clinging desperately to all she has of them, of their love. He looks down and pulls away, knowing he'll never be there again.

He waits a week before he can't take it anymore. Every morning during that week, he'd gotten out of bed, thought about his son, wondered how Carter and Daniel were doing in Crete, and then stared at the paper he'd left on his night stand. He had no idea what it was, but he knew Daniel wanted him to go there or, at least, Daniel wanted to give him the option of going there. And he'd never been known to resist bait when Daniel dangled it in front of him.

So a week after that fateful dinner from hell, he packs a cooler full of water and sandwiches, puts on his sunglasses, and climbs in his car for the trip. Jack glances at the address one final time before shifting his car into gear and heading off. He has no idea what he's looking for in North Dakota, but despite everything, deep down, he still trusts Daniel.

His destination is nearly sixteen hundred miles away and he has plenty of time to think during the two days it takes him to get there. Unfortunately, thinking is the last thing he wants to do. He cranks the volume up on the radio to drown out any thoughts that might try to occur.

His whole body is stiff as he parks his car on a nearly empty street. He looks around and wonders just what the hell he got himself into.

There's a visitors center, surprising for a town with a population of 500. He glances at the maps and information available, wondering why Daniel felt compelled to send him to an empty town whose biggest attraction is the promise of eighteen fishing lakes within an hour's drive. He thinks Daniel just wanted to get him out of town so that he would never bother either Carter again.

He smiles pitifully at the woman behind the counter and feels obligated to buy a fishing guide. With his purchase in hand, he gets back in his car. He's going to give the town one more circle and then he's going to fly to Crete and ask Daniel just what the hell he was thinking making an old man drive across the country for no particular reason.

Oddly enough, half a block later, Jack notices the large lot on the right hand side of the street. The pavement is overgrown with grass and is completely empty, except for a dilapidated warehouse. The sign on the building reads " McClusky Municipal Airport." He doubts they fly to Crete, but he turns in anyway.

The warehouse serves as the smallest hangar he's ever seen. It's also the most deserted. He looks around for someone to help him, but there's no one. He thinks it's probably better that way. Whatever Daniel wants him to find has been kept hidden from Sam and Jack knows that means it's something Sam wouldn't approve of, and therefore something the average person would also take exception to.

The door isn't even locked. If that's not an invitation, he doesn't know what is. Shaking his head, he ducks into the musty building.

If there's one thing left in life that Jack O'Neill is sure of, it's that whatever is under the tarp in front of him, it's sure as hell not an airplane.

He takes a deep breath before he crosses to the far end of the warehouse to get a better look. His gut is quite talkative suddenly and it's telling him that this is exactly what Daniel wanted him to find and that he's going to owe Daniel big for this. He pulls off the tarp, knowing both that he probably shouldn't and that he couldn't stop now if he wanted to.

And then he finally understands what Daniel meant. It is exactly what he wants it to be. Rather, it's the means to the ends he wants.

He doesn't really have a choice when it comes right down to it. He stares at it, laughing at himself when he realizes he was wondering if twenty years had damaged it when the damn thing had survived thousands of years without a scratch.

He's still laughing as he finds the control for the doors, opening them wide onto the overgrown runways. He doesn't need a runway.

He climbs in and takes his seat, smiling when the jumper hums to life under his light touch. He steers it out into the open, knowing it won't be there long enough for anyone to investigate. There's an excited tingle running through his veins.

God, he misses this.

Then he closes his eyes and thinks back to when it all when wrong.

He's got his chance to change it, to take it all back, just like he wanted. He won't let her down again.

Not when he has a good idea of the extraordinary future they can share with their son.

_AN2: FYI, just in case anyone finds Sam to be OOC, I just wanted to give my two cents... Personally, I think they play her too strong on the show. This was the perfect opportunity to see her lose that strength. As anyone who has ever suffered from depression knows, it strikes even the strong and independent and I think losing Jack and having his baby (in this universe) might have been enough to push her past her limits. I believe that she draws some of her strength from Jack and from their bond, so losing that would devastate her. So I hope you enjoyed the angst-fest with a happiest possible ending thatwouldn't ruin the whole thing. _

Comments welcome!


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